


Love me for real

by Nickwritesfluff



Series: Kleinsen~ [3]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Crushes, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Pining, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 01:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17457698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickwritesfluff/pseuds/Nickwritesfluff
Summary: Jared finally came out to his mom - only she didn't react how he thought she would. He was expecting hugs and tears, what he got is a sceptical mother, a fake boyfriend, movies and feelings.





	Love me for real

**Author's Note:**

> First things first, English is not my native language, so get ready for weird phrases, grammatical errors and a mess I call fanfiction.  
> Also, this took me longer than I dare to say. Hours of writing it at 1AM, deleting it in the morning, and regretting deleting it in the afternoon, but it's done. I'm proud of it, even if it's not perfect. It's my child.  
> I decided not to write in Evan's stuttering, because I find it difficult, and sometimes annoying to read. I also wrote Evan a lot more confident, because if he lied to everyone, he had to be a good actor.  
> I don't really know if it's even pre-canon, I just put it in the tags, because it seemed fitting. As I said, Evan is more confident, so it could be post-canon, but they're still in high school, so eh, you decide.  
> Also, I have no clue how Netflix works.  
> It's my first work in this fandom, so be nice haha. Enjoy~

The hallway was crowded, but that didn't stop Jared from finding Evan. The guy was tall and blond, it was hard not to notice him.

  
"Hey." Jared grinned as he stopped next to Evan's locker, looking up to the taller boy.

  
"Jared!" Evan jumped a little, making Jared laugh.

  
"Yo, I need your help." he said after he stopped, which took an embarrassingly long time.

  
"Of course you do." Evan whispered just loud enough for Jared to hear, but his sentence after that was way louder and harsher. "What do you need?"

  
"You." Jared said without thinking, and Evan's cheeks turned pink. "I mean- argh. So I came out to my mom last night, and she... She didn't really believe me? She said I can't be gay if I haven't had a boyfriend yet and stuff... So I said I do have a boyfriend, and she asked who is he, and well..."

 

"Well?" Evan furrowed his brows like he didn't know where this was going.

  
"I might've said you're my boyfriend and now she wants you to come over on Friday and have dinner with us, and-" Jared started rambling.

  
"I'm sorry, what?" Evan stopped him, his voice dangerously low.

  
"Okay, look, I panicked! And I thought you'd help me out, my other... friends would never do that for me."

 

This was true. Evan was the only person he thought would do this, not because he loved Jared so much, rather because he tried to help everyone.

  
"Jared... You know I hate dinners. There's always wine, and I hate alcohol." Evan frowned. "And also the small talk. Ew."

  
Jared smiled at that. So Evan's main problem wasn't the fake boyfriend-thing, it was the _dinner._ There was hope for his plan.

  
"Evan, please. You can even stay at my place, we can watch something, or I dunno, just please! It's so fucking tiring to act straight."

 

Jared sighed, and when he looked at Evan, he knew he won. The guy looked at him with a soft expression, he let down his hands, and relaxed a little.

  
"This Friday?" he sighed, and Jared almost started jumping, but then he remembered they were at school.

  
"Yeah. Thanks, Ev. You're the best." he half hugged Evan, and hearing the bell, he headed to his next class, leaving the tall boy by his locker.

 

Before the boys noticed, Friday came. Jared was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt all day, and whenever he looked at Evan, he could feel his face getting hot. He couldn't believe they were about to do this.

  
The day was boring as ever, but it was finally almost 6 PM, and Jared was wearing a black button-up, and his mom was still sceptical, but at least she agreed to the dinner, so that was something. At 6 o'clock his phone buzzed. He checked the text Evan sent him, saying he was there, and that it would be convincing if Jared talked to him outside before the dinner. The shorter boy agreed, so he went to the door, making sure his mom saw him.

  
"Hey." Evan smiled awkwardly as the door opened, looking a little shocked. Jared could tell he looked the same, because _damn._ Evan sure knew how to dress to impress. He was wearing a dark blue shirt that made his hair look even more blond, and black dress pants, and they were _just_ tight enough.

  
"Hey there." Jared laughed, closing the door halfway - this way his mom knew he was talking to someone there privately, and she could still hear them. "How are you doing? Are you ready?"

  
"I guess. I don't thing I'm gonna faint." Evan half-joked, making Jared laugh.

  
"Don't worry, if you faint, I'll catch you." he grinned, making Evan blush a little. Yeah, he was openly flirting with the guy, but he knew his mother was listening. They had to be convincing, even though this meant he might had to make Evan uncomfortable. That made Jared uncomfortable, because he didn't want Evan to just run away, and-

  
"My knight in shining armour." nevermind, Evan was fine, based on his stupid smirk and glistening eyes.

  
"We should probably go inside. My mom can't wait to see you." Jared smiled, hesitantly taking Evan's hand. The taller boy nodded, and they headed inside. Hand in hand.

  
"Hey, Evan's here!" Jared yelled, pretending to not know his mom knew exactly Evan was there. He forced a smile as his dear mother stepped out of the kitchen.

  
"Evan, honey, it's nice to see you." she smiled, looking at Jared, clearly not convinced.

  
"You too, Mrs Kleinman. My mom says hello." Evan grinned, still holding Jared's hand, and even if it started to become sweaty and gross, Jared wouldn't let it go.

  
"Oh, she knows you're..." Mrs Kleinman raised her eyebrows.

  
"Bisexual? Yeah."

  
"I was gonna say 'here', but it's good to know." Jared's mom laughed awkwardly, but Evan took it like a champ. He smiled politely, and murmured a soft apology.

  
"Well, we'll just sit down in the dining room, okay?" Jared stepped in as Evan's grip on his hand slightly tightened. They both nodded, so the boys left Mrs Kleinman there. Jared could _feel_ her staring at them.

  
"Whenever you feel uncomfortable, or something like that, tell me, okay?" Jared asked Evan seriously as soon as he made sure his mom wasn't listening anymore.

  
"I'll be okay, relax." Evan laughed. "Anyways, you seem to be good enough at noticing when I'm... uncomfortable."

  
That was the moment Jared realized they were still holding hands. He also realized he didn't really want to let go.

  
"We should sit down or something. Y'know, if mom checks in."

  
As Jared said that, Evan let go of his hand, and sat down on a chair. Jared didn't have time to worry about how sad he was when their hands parted, because then Evan pulled him into his lap.

  
Into. His. _Lap_.

  
Jared definitely knew he shouldn't be enjoying this, but oh boy, he did. He smirked and wrapped Evan's arms around his waist, and leaned back so Evan could rest his chin on Jared's shoulder. He was sure they looked all lovey-dovey. Perfect. They stayed like that, just talking about everything, quickly forgetting about their situation. When Evan started laughing at a joke Jared made, his nose scrunched up, and his arms tightening around Jared's waist, the shorter boy's smile froze on his face.

  
Evan was beautiful.

  
Fuck.

  
He shouldn't think that, the guy doesn't even like him, but still. As they sat there in the dining room, it all felt so... natural. Jared's heart started to ache. It wasn't natural. It wasn't real. This was a little play they put up so his mom would believe he was gay. That's it.

  
"You okay?" Evan murmured in his ear, and Jared could feel the beginning of a panic attack. He shouldn't feel this way, he shouldn't love how Evan's arms are wrapped around him, how Evan's breath feels on the back of his neck, how Evan's here, and Evan, Evan, Evan...

  
He somehow scrambled off of the taller boy, his legs weak and shaking. He tried to speak, but no words came out of his mouth. Why did he love this, why couldn't he be normal, why does he have to fall for his family friend?

  
And then it all became quiet. No more why's, no more panic rushing through his body like blood, no more shaking. Because there were lips on his, Evan's lips, and holy shit. They were chapped, and Evan tasted like mints, and Jared was crying, but it was more than good. Because Evan's hands were cupping Jared's cheeks, and only that made Jared's mind finally shut up.

  
The kiss - if you could even call it that - ended in a few moments. Evan pulled away, leaving Jared's lips tingling.

  
"I can't believe that actually worked." Evan let out a breathy laugh, making Jared's eyes widen. "I saw it on some random TV show."

  
Ah. He only did it because he didn't want Jared to faint. Reasonable.

  
"Where's mom?" he asked, voice shaky and weak.

  
"Still in the kitchen. I think." Evan replied, standing awkwardly next to Jared. "What happened? Did I do something? I'm sorry, I-"

  
"Guys, could you help me bringing the food in?" Jared's mom yelled from the kitchen, making Evan stop.

  
"It's nothing, don't worry about it." Jared quickly whispered, taking Evan's hand. "Let's go help this crazy woman. Based on the time she spent in the kitchen we'll have food for three years."

  
As he thought, the kitchen was full. There was a pot full of spaghetti, an another one with something that looked like pumpkin soup, and also a massive ice-cream cake with lots of whipped cream.

  
Jared grabbed the soup, and brought it to the dining table. Evan quickly followed him with the spaghetti, and his mom with some water and glasses. After they all sat, the dinner finally started.

  
"So... How long have you been together exactly?" Mrs Kleinman asked the boys. Well, shit, they didn't talk it through enough.

  
"Almost a month." Evan answered, smiling at Jared. Fuck, he was blushing now, great.

  
"And you didn't tell me, because?" Jared's mom asked as she took a spoonful of soup.

  
"Well, I wasn't out to my mom when it began-"

  
"And neither was I." Jared grinned, placing his hand on Evan's tight, making his fake-boyfriend blush. "So we decided to keep it a secret."

  
"I see." his mom nodded, and from this point, the dinner went smoothly. When it came to dessert, Evan threw his left arm around Jared's shoulders as they were laughing at a joke his mom made, and Jared... He loved it. He smiled at Evan warmly.

  
"You guys are just too cute." Jared's mom sighed. "Jared, honey, I'm sorry I said what I said."

  
"No problem, mom." Jared let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

  
"I see you're happy and in love. I won't take that away from you. Evan" she looked at Evan seriously ", welcome to the family."

  
Evan mumbled a soft 'thank you', and they finished the cake. The boys helped Jared's mom clean the table, but when Evan offered to do the washing up, they were ushered away.

  
"Wanna come up? It's only 8PM, we could play video games and stuff." Jared offered as the kitchen door closed behind them. "Just like the old times."

  
"Sounds good." Evan smiled, following Jared up the stairs. His room wasn't as messy as he remembered, but he still had to kick some T-shirts and pants under the bed.

 

"You wanna stay the night?" he asked as he pullet out a Pokémon shirt of this closet. "You can borrow some clothes."

 

Evan accepted the offer, and soon enough they were both wearing sweatpants and old t-shirts. After that was settled, Jared turned on the old TV, offering Evan some games.

 

"Or we could watch Netflix, I finally got an account." he grinned proudly, trying to erase the phrase 'Netflix and chill' out of his mind. Damn, why was it so hard for him to act normal around Evan?

 

"Okay. As long as we don't watch the Bee movie." Evan grinned, sitting down on the bed.

  
"Aw, I'm staring to think you don't even love me, my dear boyfriend." Jared put a hand theatrically on his chest, making Evan laugh.

  
"Darling, it's not what you think!" he answered between laughs.

  
"I dunno, you don't like my taste in movies, babe. We might have to break up." Jared sat down next to Evan with his laptop, ignoring how easily the nickname rolled off of his tongue, or how Evan blushed. He put the laptop in his lap, scooting closer to his fake boyfriend, so they could both see the movies.

  
"Ooh what's that?" Evan pointed at a film called Love, Simon.

  
"It's something gay. Sounds good." Jared clicked on the movie, and moved so he could lean against the headboard, Evan following him.

 

Yeah, this wasn't a very good idea.

 

Because now Evan's arm was uncomfortably located between them, so he threw it around Jared's shoulders just like he did during dinner. And then it was awkward, because Jared couldn't lean back comfortably, so he rested his head on Evan's shoulder, and he didn't even notice that the movie has already started. He blushed, and tried to concentrate on this poor gay's miserable life.

  
He failed.

  
All he could see was Evan. All he could smell was Evan. All he could even think about was... You guessed it, Evan.

  
Now, the movie was almost over, and Jared was sleepy, and Evan was _so_ _warm_ , so he curled his arms around Evan's torso, and started to fall asleep.

  
"You awake?" he heard Evan's soft voice after a few minutes, but he was almost asleep, so he didn't react. "I guess not. It's a shame. I... I didn't want this day to end. It was too perfect."

  
At this point, Jared wasn't asleep anymore, but he didn't dare to move. He never heard Evan talk so... openly to anyone.

  
"Man, I could get used to this." Evan let out a sigh as he started to play with Jared's hair. "You falling asleep next to me after a dinner, and... shit. I love you."

  
Now, Jared could've reacted a hundred and one different ways to that. Maybe if he wouldn't have been so sleepy, he would've talked this through. But you see, Jared was _very_ sleepy, therefore he decided they'll talk about it in the morning, and drifted back to sleep.

 

This was his worst idea yet.

  
Because when he woke up in the morning, he wasn't sure if he dreamed it or not. He was alone in his bed, but the wrinkled blanket and a pillow next to him gave him some hope that Evan was still there. The smell of bacon strengthened this hope, since he knew his mom wouldn't be home all day. He smiled as he climbed out of the bed, and down the stairs.

  
"What's cookin', good lookin'?" he grinned with fake confidence when he reached the kitchen and saw Evan in front of the stove.

 

"You see, I almost got scared and dropped your breakfast. You're lucky your stairs are squeaky." Evan laughed, putting some scrambled eggs onto a plate. "Your mom said you love this."

  
"My mom was right." Jared took the plate, and immediately started eating. "Fuck, that's good."

  
"You can't really ruin scrambled eggs." Evan laughed, and Jared raised his brows.

  
"You've never seen me cook, and that's for the best." he made a face. Evan _giggled,_ holy shit, and placed a significantly smaller amount of eggs onto an another plate, and started eating as well.

  
"Is that your breakfast?" Jared scrunched his nose. "Or are you going to eat enough to function like a human being?"

  
"I don't usually eat breakfast, shut up." Evan shrugged, quickly finishing his plate, and putting it into the sink.

  
"Open up, bitch." Jared said, picking up some eggs with his fork, and placing it in front of Evan's mouth.

  
"You can't be serious." Evan deadpanned, but seeing Jared's face, he slowly opened his mouth and ate the eggs. Next, Jared ate some, and he tried not to think about how this was an indirect kiss, because that might've made him choke on his breakfast. They continued to eat like that until the plate was empty. No, Jared didn't end up yeeting it, even though he _really_ wanted to.

  
"When do you wanna go home? Mom won't be here until like 10PM." he explained as he finished washing the dishes. "We can watch movies in the living room, make popcorn... Ooh I think I saw nachos somewhere."

  
"I'm honestly surprised you didn't say we should get wasted." Evan smiled, and Jared splashed some water on him.

  
"Bitch, I'm nice and I remembered you hate alcohol." he laughed, drying his hands quickly. "So? You wanna stay?"

  
Evan hesitated this time, but he still nodded. "I just gotta text my mom. You said there was some nachos?" 

"Say no more, I'll find it." Jared said, reaching for the top shelf. "It should be here somewhere..."

  
His voice became quiet when Evan stepped into his personal space, easily finding the chips and the salsa. While being _really_ _fucking_ _close_ to Jared.

  
"I'll take these to the living room." he grinned, and Jared wasn't sure if Evan knew what he was doing, because they were still so close to each other, and Jared was looking up to Evan, and Evan was looking at Jared's lips, and...

  
"Did you confess to me last night?" he blurted out, maybe a little louder than he intended to, making Evan flinch.

  
"Wh- How- WHAT?" Evan stepped back, blushing furiously. "You- I asked if you were asleep!"

  
"I was! I was half-asleep." Jared explained.

  
"Does this mean I'm gay, because I'm half-gay? No!" Evan rubbed his face.

  
"It's good to know I wasn't dreaming though." Jared mumbled.

  
"Why? So you can make fun of me?" Evan asked, avoiding any eye contact. "I'm the guy who fell for his... family friend."

  
"What a coincidence, me too." Jared smiled, placing his hand on Evan's cheek, forcing him to look at Jared. The taller boy looked doubtful, so Jared continued. "Ev, I swear to my Netflix account, you know that's pretty important to me, so I swear I like you. Hell, maybe even love. I don't know! This is all so new and weird, but like a good weird. And even if all I know is that I want to make you happy and that I love it when you smile, and... And even if I was an asshole to you for years, I would love to try this shit out."

  
"By 'shit' you mean a... relationship?" Evan asked with a half smile.

  
"Fuck yeah." Jared grinned, stepping closer to Evan. "I know it's not much, but... You know, mom's not home, so do you wanna watch shitty movies with me all day as a first date?"

  
That made Evan laugh out loud, and he gently kissed Jared. It was even better than last time, this was real, sweet and honest. This one wasn't ruined by an almost-panic attack, no. This was perfect. And when Jared pulled away because he desperately needed oxygen, Evan opened his mouth and said "I would love to.", and suddenly everything felt alright.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, don't forget to leave kudos and/or a comment. If you hated it, please tell me what I could do to make it better, so you might like my future fics. Thank you for reading!:)


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